


I Dreamed I Held You in My Arms

by beebips



Category: The Wayhaven Chronicles (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: Childhood Memories, F/M, POV Second Person, Pre-Relationship, it's kind of angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25374871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebips/pseuds/beebips
Summary: Upon meeting you, something inside of Adam shifts. Though he's quite unsure what exactly it is in the moment, it kind of feels like butterflies, something he hasn't felt in a very long time.
Relationships: Female Detective/Adam du Mortain
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	I Dreamed I Held You in My Arms

**Author's Note:**

> thank u to my buds alicia, jade, and oumayma for supporting me throughout this endeavor and boy is she an endeavor. this is my first time writing for twc and i hope you enjoy it!

It didn’t take Commanding Agent Adam Du Mortain long to get to the station; he’s fast enough to be there in a flash – quite literally.

And for all intents and purposes, it was a relatively normal day. Of course, he had just gotten shot the night prior, but that’s already in the past, save for a few grumbles about the hole in his favorite shirt.

He was also about to meet you, the woman who trembled as she held her gun to him.

Seeing you in the light was different, though, no matter how abysmal the fluorescent bulbs in the station may be. Something inside of him seemed to shift, and though he didn’t immediately classify it as “abnormal,” it was just enough for him to take note of it.

When Rebecca began to approach you, you turned around in a flash, your hair gently bouncing around your face. And you smiled.

_“Mum!”_

The first thing Adam noticed was how you smiled at your mother – undoubtedly full of love – and it started to pull at strings he wasn’t aware of. Something he could barely feel. Something that his fingers just couldn’t quite grasp yet.

It’s far enough out of his reach that he can only feel the edges of the memory inside of him.

_Amongst the green, green English grass is a flash of blonde, and a laugh ringing through the air. Adam does his best to catch the sound, like a bunch of tinkling bells through the spring wind. He can feel the sunshine on his skin, bathing him in gold and he pushes on, running as fast as his legs can possibly take him._

He quickly pushes the feeling back down, but it aches to be known again.

***

Although it’s kind of weird that your new “roommates” don’t seem to ever sleep, you continue on with your routine anyways. The morning sounds float around your little apartment, and you smile at the gentle rustling of Unit Bravo in the warm light.

Nate and Felix are on one side of the room, chatting quietly while tucked underneath some of your coziest blankets. Mason sit quietly in a cloud of cigarette smoke, watching as it rises and falls in the early morning sun. Agent Du Mortain, as usual, stands in the corner, keeping watch on the streets down below.

He clenches his jaw at his constantly drifting thoughts, and he curses his eyes for wandering over to the window’s reflection.

But it’s when he hears your voice, and the loving melody floating through it, that he crosses his arms tightly over his chest, like a shield over his heart.

_“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are grey”_

The sound brings his gaze to the echo of you against the glass. You move slowly throughout your kitchen, dancing to the sound of your own voice and the gentle sizzle of hot butter on the stove. Although the team leader can’t pull away from the sight, he refuses to let you know he’s looking. So he resorts to just watching from the corner of his eyes, though his body begs him to face you and see you in full. He knows what lies in the mirror is just a ghost of you, and could never fully do you justice.

His heart pounds against his ribs, pushing seismic waves throughout his body until he was sure even you could hear it. The blonde agent’s gaze becomes steel as he realizes his teammates have become quiet, listening to the crashing waves coming from his chest.

However, you’re none the wiser, and continue to float throughout your kitchen, letting your musicality guide you.

 _“You’ll never know, dear”_ You softly sing as you flip your pancakes, looking out into the room until your eyes fall on Adam. The next words tease at the end of your tongue, daring you to say them.

In the reflection, you meet his soft emerald eyes, and the words seem to sing themselves.

_“How much I love you.”_

And after that line, you swallow hard, trying to push your feelings down as he snaps his stare away from yours. He stands straighter, just a hair more than his usual perfect posture, and stares straight ahead.

_“So please don’t take my sunshine away.”_

_Adam is flooded with the feeling of warm fingers through his blonde hair, and a soft song being sung just above his face._

_He’d taken advantage of the sunny day, and after a day of running in the fields, Adam’s taking the time to finally rest and catch their breath._

_The lyrics fall, and he looks upwards, letting the words fall on his face like the summer sun._

_And he smiles._

***

Though as ice cold as he can be, he softens at the sight of you. You light a fire in him that he hasn’t felt in a very, very long time. When you land your eyes on him, everything else seems to feel like rushing water.

And here you are, smiling, but it’s so weak. Your hand, growing cold, ghosts over his cheek, and he’s crushed by the weight of the action.

Cradled in his arms, you lie there, and though he should be swimming in the sweet scent of your blood, the only thing he can see is you. The rain has washed away the worst of it, but the problem now is that you’re shivering and wet, and there’s not much he can do but hold you close and try to share his heartbeat with you.

It’s like he’s been in a storm for a thousand years, and after it all, you show up like the golden sun and how is he supposed to live now, pulled out from heavy weather? What happens to the walls he’s built to keep his city from washing away?

He was drowning in the sound of the world without your heartbeat. The silence was overwhelming.

If he could only see your eyes.

If he could see your eyes, he could tell you that you’ll be okay. That he’ll fight for you.

But you’re bleeding and broken, bruised and bloodied, and he can barely remember a moment where he’s felt so helpless.

He looks to Nate with a pleading gaze, but his oldest friend only manages pulls him away from your body.

And you lie there in the rain.

_Adam is fourteen today, but it doesn’t feel like anything to celebrate. There’s a taste in his mouth that he can’t identify. Like sour rain._

_He’s thrown into an ocean of roaring wind and his voice is lost in the chaos. The storm pours and batters at his skin, and he’s drawn to an apron, lost to the rain and soaked in mud. It makes his heart ache and scream, and he mirrors that but is only left with a throat raw from the shouting and a tear-soaked face. It’s hard to tell what’s rain and what’s tears, but it all falls the same._

_He knows he wants to see something. He tried to chase after, but his father holds his arm, refusing to let him._

_He mourns with the crashing thunder._

***

Nate shows up with a to-go cup and a little white paper bag in hand, holding it out to the team leader.

“I got it from Haley’s.” Nate’s come to know exactly what you get from the little shop, and he’s happy to go and pick some up for you. It’s the least he can do, while you’re all laid up, healing from the encounter with Murphy, and it’s the least he can do for Adam – to give him a reason to speak to you.

Felix pipes up from the corner, smiling from ear to ear. “I happen to know that’s our best detective’s favorite! I know our detective is a special someone’s favorite, too.” He raises his eyebrows teasingly at his team leader.

A scowl crosses Agent Du Mortain’s face at the young vampire’s remark, yet he begrudgingly takes the items from Nate, giving a curt nod before disappearing out the door.

He stops outside of your door, peering in through the glass. Head to toe in bandages or bruises, his heart wants to hide from all the feelings he’s experiencing at the sight. The bandages that cover your neck endlessly mock him, and he wonders how he could have protected you better.

Still, he turns the doorknob.

“Adam!” You smile, your face alight with joy. When your eyes fall on the items in the commanding agent’s hand, you perk up even more. Usually the poster boy for emotional stability, his knees weaken as he stares blankly, trying to collect any semblance of a sentence.

Wordlessly, he hands you the bag and the cup, and the second you pull out the pastry, you immediately break of a small piece for Adam.

“I know you don’t usually eat food, but it’s good. I promise.” Though your throat pains with each word, you ramble, unable to control your thoughts from falling into the open air. “It’s my favorite.”

He already knew that, but he bites his tongue to avoid further embarrassment. From his hand, the item you’ve placed softly in his hand catches his eye.

A golden pastry, filled to the brim with strawberry jam.

_The pastry breaks gently, daring to spill its secrets over the edge._

_He gets one half, the other he hands off. It’s a favorite, but not his favorite._

_Combined with the sweetness of strawberries, the feeling of crackling bread spreads over his tongue._

_And he returns the smile of that in front of him, laughing at pink stained teeth until his sides twinge with pain._

***

Agent Du Mortain maintains a steady pace at your side, his long legs easily able to keep with you, no matter how fast you try to go.

Above him, hundreds of fairy lights dream, spread far out above the carnival. Each one casts a halo above your head, and he’s sure that the heavens are crowning you with grace.

The shrill voice of the woman trying to take his picture breaks his attention from you and his gut bubbles with frustration.

The mission is what’s important, yet he can’t keep his eyes off of you, pulled tight against his chest, and knowing that your hearts are just longing to beat against each other. His calloused fingers just barely brush against the softness of your cheek, pushing your hair back behind your ear as he stares deep into the galaxies created in your eyes.

He takes a gentle glance into each star, so perfectly placed within your irises, captured within the color of your eyes. Lost to the moment, he takes a second to wish upon those stars, praying and pleading for a way to make this work. To make your love work.

It takes the strength of every muscle not to lean into your touch. He craves the sweetness that your warmth holds, and each touch shoots electricity throughout his body.

Amidst radiating warmth, you’re lost in the feeling of Agent Du Mortain. One hand rests securely at your waist and his other hand is hot against your already blushing cheeks. A smile breaks out across your face as you take in every inch of his and wonder when you’ll be this close again. You really hope it’ll be soon.

The wind whirls at your feet, and you let your heartbeat flutter in the soft breeze.

_Adam trails behind, being pulled up the steep hill by his house. The air around him breathes gently, and drives a chill down his spine._

_Still, he takes his outermost layer and hands it off, letting the brisk weather close to his skin._

_But he doesn’t mind._

_He looks up to see an endless ocean of shining stars, each begging a wish to be made._

_He wishes for…something. He knows he wished for something, but the memory fades before he can pull the thought from the recesses of his mind._

***

Staying over at the warehouse was kind of like a sleepover. Albeit, a sleepover with four hot vampires, but a sleepover nonetheless.

After pulling yourself from your room, you eye the vase of yellow sunflowers, offering their brightness to the space you now call your own, and you wonder if you could share any of that love.

You know exactly where you’re going once you pull the handle of your door, a single flower in hand.

-

Commanding Agent Adam Du Mortain doesn’t listen to a lot of music, but in this moment, he’s using it to feel close to you, knowing it’s a song you keep in your back pocket for early morning silences. He has a quiet version playing in the corner while lying on his bed, for once, he may be taking a rest from the constant training but he is never really able to escape his thoughts of you.

With one hand underneath his head, he toys with a bit of his blonde hair, remembering the feeling of warmth that was once there, but it slowly fades away.

_“The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping,_  
_I dreamed I held you in my arms._  
_When I awoke, dear, I was mistaken -"  
_

The sound of your footsteps at the end of the hallway force him upright in his bed, holding his breath as he feels you approaching. Frozen, he watches as a yellow petals peek underneath his door like sunshine pouring into his grey room.

A bright yellow dandelion rests at the foot of his door.

On the other side of the door, you pause, hearing one of your favorite songs blurred through the walls. It’s purely coincidence, you say to yourself, but somewhere inside you hope that it’s not.

And he listens to the sound of your heart pounding as you walk away.

_Adam Du Mortain has mastered the art of the light footstep as he makes his way through the evening sunlight. Another set of footprints follow just behind him, padding along the wooden floors. The fire crackles, begging their attention, but it’s what’s resting on the table that they truly want._

_Golden pastries, filled to the brim with strawberry jam._

***

Commanding Agent Du Mortain has never seen you wear that necklace before. It’s golden locket, forged into the shape of a heart. He notes the way that it sparkles in the light.

You smile as you see him taking notice of it. Pressing it open, you show him what’s hidden inside.

“It’s – uh, me and my father. I was pretty much just born, but he put this photo in so he could give it to me when I turned 18. It’s sad to think he never made it there, but I like to wear it every now and again.” You have a hint of sadness welling within your eyes, but the moment you look at the blonde agent, the feelings seem to silence in his presence.

“It’s nice.” He says, curt and concise.

_Adam tucks a lock of hair into his pendant, letting it close underneath his fingertips. The smile on his face seemingly cannot grow any wider, and his emerald eyes soften in the moonlight._

_He lifts the necklace over his head, letting the pendant fall directly over his heart. The metal feels cold against his skin, but the warmth of knowing love has left it the chill meaningless._

***

Each part of his body aches a little more than the next. He knows it won’t last forever, but damn, it sure hurts like hell now.

His mind, for once in his life, feels foggy. But the minute you step into the room, he remembers how much color you bring into his life. How much you make him smile more than he’s ever smiled before.

Not that there was a huge threshold for that anyways.

The conversation passes by in a fog, and the team leader, unable to keep up, finally lets his mind wander uninhibited.

The next thing he remembers is his hand against your face, cupping your cheek, and the feeling of your lips underneath his thumb. You fight against the urge to close the distance between the two of you, but his gravity is almost overpowering.

“Tu…omnia…” He takes a steady breath before sleep quickly envelops him in its arms.

As Agent Du Mortain tosses around in his bed, bandages unravelling from his thrashing, he falls back into the memories he’s tried so hard to repress.

_Adam finds himself running again through the green, green English grass, his blonde hair pulled through the wind. As he chases the laughter ringing out before him, the other person finally fades into view._

_A young girl, not much younger than he is. Thirteen at most, but a smile to last through centuries._

_He knows that face._

_Your face._

_-_

_In a flash, he remembers two sets of footsteps, quietly trekking throughout his home, dusted in evening sunlight, but a single golden pastry, filled to the brim with strawberry jam._

_And he remembers mathematics. One pastry, two people. He easily splits the golden bread into two pieces, letting the jam drip over his thumb just the slightest bit._

_It’s your favorite, shining brightly as you take a bite of the stolen good._

_And he returns the smile of that in front of him, feeling on top of the world._

_-_

_You pull him by the arm, running as fast as you can up the steep hill – or as fast as you can possibly go weighed down with a young Adam Du Mortain._

_When you both reach the top of the hill, you lay out along the cool, dewy grass, and he can feel you shiver next to him. He pulls off his outermost layer and hands it off to you, letting the brisk weather lie close to his skin._

_As he pulls you close to him, he wishes on each star, quickly placing a kiss to your laughing cheeks after each wish. Wishes and kisses, wishes and kisses._

_He wishes for eternal love._

_-_

_You hold the knife delicately between your fingers, letting it cut through the strands of your hair. Once you attain a small lock, you hand it off to Adam. He watches it shine against the moonlight, and can barely contain his giddiness as he secures it into his pendant._

_He lifts the necklace over his head, letting the pendant fall directly over his heart. The metal is cool against his skin, but there’s no warmer feeling than your love._

_He leans in to press his lips against yours, basking in the freedom at his fingertips._

_Oh, how lovely it is to be so young._

_-_

_He lays his head in your lap, just gently shaded from the English sun by your body, but the light emerging from behind you casts a heavenly glow. Adam basks in the feeling of your warm fingers in his hair. After all of that running, he’s glad to finally take a rest._

_A soft melody falls from your lips, gently cascading down and settling on his pale skin like the summer sun. It’s the sunniest day of the year, and maybe that’s not just the weather._

_-_

_Today, Adam turned fourteen._

_His father found out about him getting too close with the daughter of the live-in servant._

_“Adam, you must remember you are nobility. You cannot be wasting your time with people of the lower class. I’m sending them away immediately.” He scolds, face red enough with anger he could burst._

_“Father, you can’t do that! I love her! Please!” Adam shouts, already trying to pull away from his father’s grasp._

_“You have no idea what love means, Adam.” His father’s face is steel, keeping a strong hand wrapped around his arm._

_Adam watches you battle the strength of your mother, shouting his name into the torrent as you try to wriggle free._

_The rain plummets around you, and after losing your fight in her mother’s arms, your apron falls to the ground, coming to rest in a puddle of water and mud._

_Adam is swirling in an ocean of roaring wind, losing his voice in the chaos of lightning. He manages to slip out long enough to grab your apron, and he screams into the downpour. His heart cracks and shatters as he bellows your name into the night, hoping maybe the stars would grant him one more wish._

_He’s only left with the pain of a scratched throat and a tear-soaked face, leaving it impossible to tell what’s rain and what’s tears, but they fall all the same. Adam collapses to his knees, sobbing into his hands and clutching the pendant in one hand and the apron in the other._

_“I will not have you tarnishing the family name.”_

_As his father comes to pick him up, he kicks and screams and howls, but he can’t fight back through his clouded green eyes and broken heart. Adam falls limp, his pale chest heaving as the storm batters against his skin._

_He mourns with the crashing thunder, and hopes that his wish for eternal love would not be granted unrequited._

***

Adam wakes with a start, and he throws the covers off of his bed, ignoring the aches surging through his muscles. He pulls a grey t-shirt over his head, and quickly slips on some shoes and socks, stumbling from the urgency calling his name.

And Adam runs. For once, he runs seemingly without direction. And for the first time in a very long time, Adam Du Mortain runs because he wants to.

He runs to feel the wind against his face, pulling the shortness of his hair back by just a breath. He runs to know what the grass feels like teasing at his ankles, leaving their dewy kisses along his skin.

He runs because he knows now what he feels - or rather - what he’s tried not to feel for so long.

His feet finally pull him to a stop, and before he knows it he’s rapping his fist against the wooden door that stands before him.

After all this time, Adam was swimming in a sea of emotions he could no longer control.

There wasn’t anything that could ready him for when the door cracked opened. Every butterfly growing in his stomach, Adam had tried to pull safely into a net. But when that door opened, and he saw you standing behind it, the net ceased to exist, and every butterfly was set free to finally flutter once again.

“Adam?” The sound of his name off your tongue feels like fresh water, quenching a thirst that he didn’t know was there.

The butterflies rise from his stomach into his lungs, drowning him in their dances, with each beat of their wings matching his heart pounding in his chest. He remains breathless from the previous battle, yet you still manage to pull the remaining air right out of him with your smile.

Knowing he’s been standing wordlessly for far too long, he manages to say what he’s wanted to for what feels like forever.

“It has **always** been you.”


End file.
